This day....

This day is just screaming to be documented. Thank Goodness, last night was the first night in weeks that I have gotten a decent night of sleep. I woke up after 7 to a house with no kids out of bed. Awesomeness. It’s all downhill from there, though. Nat REFUSED to simply take six consecutive breaths from her inhaler/spacer. She just stood there and didn’t inhale (or did inhale so slowly that it was impossible to tell.) She does this often and it really sets me off.

Breakfast = mama the short-order-cook. “I want a cream cheese bagel!” “I want cream cheese TOAST!” “I want rice cheerios!” “I want cheese toast!”

I only have 2 kids!

Then the outings came. I went to beautybrands to spend a birthday gift card on some much-needed beauty supplies, and after no more than 5 minutes, the kids were running wild. To check out, I had to make them SIT on the floor next to me because they would not stand. I realize that this is not atypical 2- and 5- year old behavior, but it is way out of normal for my kids. They are just not rowdy kids. I left with $40 left on my gift card because it was obvious we needed to leave.

The grocery store was uneventful (read: the shopping carts allow you to fasten your children into them,) but Isaac did manage to sneak a package of hamburger buns into the “car” part of the cart where he was sitting and stomp the heck out of them while I was trying to find a bread with less wheat than our current whitewheat bread that did not contain milk. Yes, I bought the buns.

When I got home, my husband and I had a brief conversation with a sidebar that went something like this:

Mama: Whew! Somebody is stinky!

Hubby: Guessing that’s Isaac

Mama: Well, with the day we are having, I’m half expecting Natalie to poop in her pants.

Hey Internets! Guess what just happened! So...a couple of hours after that phone call, Isaac is napping and Natalie is having quiet time. I walk out of my room to get the next load of laundry and find Natalie standing at the toilet with poop all over her bum and a wad of flushable wipes in her undies trying to pull up her pants. Further inspection reveals a toilet absolutely full of more wipes.

Mama: Wha????

Nat: I didn’t want to go poopie.

Mama: Wha?

Nat: I was playing and I didn’t want to get up to go poopie.

Mama: (pointing at wipes wad in undies) Wha?

Nat: I thought I could get the poopie out of there with those.

Mama: Why didn’t you call me for help?

Nat: (very thoughtful face) ummm....I didn’t want you to get poopie on your hands or on your clothes...?

Mama: Wha?

Nat: Next time I’ll come get you.


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I'm still alive

Just a quickie -

The other day we were driving home in the car and Nat told us - very tentatively and with clear anxiety on her face - that she had a bad dream the night before.

Mama: Oh no, honey! Can you tell me about it?

Nat: It's too scary. And I've had it lots of times.

Mama: Do you want to talk to us about it?

Nat: Well....I was in the bathroom. (dramatic pause) And there was someone there with me.

Mama: Who was there?

Nat: I don't know.

Mama: Was it someone scary? (At this point my mama alarms are going off big time - some mystery stranger is scary in the bathroom?)

Nat: No, that wasn't scary.

Mama: OK....what happened then?

Nat: Then we heard A SOUND! A scaaaaary sound. (High drama voice)

Mama: What sound was it? What was it like?

Nat: I don't know what it was. It was like...(huge pause, anxious face, obvious FEAR of the sound)....

Mama: It was like...?

Nat: like this (more pause) DU DU DU DUUUUUUHHHHHHH. DU DU DU DUUUUUUUUUU. (Think dramtic organ music)

Mama: And then?

Nat: I WOKE UP!