Showing posts with label overheard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label overheard. Show all posts

Thursday, April 15, 2010

I'm still alive

Just a quickie -

The other day we were driving home in the car and Nat told us - very tentatively and with clear anxiety on her face - that she had a bad dream the night before.

Mama: Oh no, honey! Can you tell me about it?

Nat: It's too scary. And I've had it lots of times.

Mama: Do you want to talk to us about it?

Nat: Well....I was in the bathroom. (dramatic pause) And there was someone there with me.

Mama: Who was there?

Nat: I don't know.

Mama: Was it someone scary? (At this point my mama alarms are going off big time - some mystery stranger is scary in the bathroom?)

Nat: No, that wasn't scary.

Mama: OK....what happened then?

Nat: Then we heard A SOUND! A scaaaaary sound. (High drama voice)

Mama: What sound was it? What was it like?

Nat: I don't know what it was. It was like...(huge pause, anxious face, obvious FEAR of the sound)....

Mama: It was like...?

Nat: like this (more pause) DU DU DU DUUUUUUHHHHHHH. DU DU DU DUUUUUUUUUU. (Think dramtic organ music)

Mama: And then?

Nat: I WOKE UP!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Boys, Boys, Boys

My son is different from my daughter in every way imaginable. The two kids have exactly two things in common:

1 - Neither one has any idea what the word "shy" means or what purpose such an attribute might serve.

2 - They both obsess over shoes. I've discussed Natalie's fetishes before. Isaac is almost worse. The first thing he does in the morning is get his shoes and bring them to me, saying "toos! toos!" and trying to hold out a foot. Then he goes and finds a pair that belongs to someone else and tries to put them on, too. Once we ventured down a shoe isle at Wal-Mart, and the little guy was so excited there were tears.

The boy child never stops moving. He climbs on things only to jump off, and he goes down the stairs just to go back up them. He throws things just to make them hit the ground, and he takes things apart just to see the insides out. He loves his kitty ("ki-kee,") but somehow the kitty does not recognize all-out-mounting a show of affection.

The boy child falls asleep in the middle of the floor on his belly. He just keeps running at full speed until he crashes. He enjoys his bath until he realizes you want to wash him. He waves at every car that passes when we walk through a parking lot, but it is rare for him to wave at a person no matter how much that person waves at him.

The boy child does not speak in any language the average observer could understand - he is much too busy figuring out how everything else works to worry about his own body. It takes him exactly one time observing someone "working" something for him to figure out how to do it himself. This goes for making things vanish into the diaper champ, undoing various baby-proofing tools, and disassembling all manner of things that should not be disassembled by a baby.

The boy child gives his mama his best snot-nose kisses and wants nothing to do with daddy at bedtime. He is very careful to make sure mama is hand-fed several goldfish and some cheese each day. He always makes sure mama is wearing her best "toos" and always makes her melt when he points at her face and whispers "pitty" (pretty.)

Yes, I'm glad that this boy child has come into my life, although he has changed it so dramatically.

My daughter is also thankful for the boys in her life these days. Yesterday, walking out of the doctor's office:

Nat: Mama, there is a handsome boy behind us.

Mama: (gaping, speechless mouth)

Nat: Isaac's doctor is a little handsome, too.

Mama: uh-huh. (still kind of gapey)

Nat: Mama, when I am as old as a princess, I'm going to start looking for a husband.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Not Bluetooth Compatible

We really do our best talking at bedtime in our house.

Mama- So, it really bothers you that I keep calling baby Isaac "Zacky" in my head?

Hubby- Yes, I hate the name "Zack." His name is not going to be Zack. If you have to call him Zack, then we have to have a new name.

Mama - OK, I can deal with that. How about "zacky poo baby boo?"

Hubby- Ha. Ha. I guess there really aren't too many good nicknames for Isaac.

Mama- Well, we thought that about Natalie, too.

Hubby- Awww. Our little Natterbeetle. Hey, he can be iBaby!

Mama - He is not an electronic device!

Hubby- [now ignoring the Mama and talking only to the "iBump"] Hey there little iBaby! It's your daddy! My little iBaby.....

I do not like where this is going, people.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

On a lighter note

Mama (to husband who just came home in the middle of the night from playing softball - or maybe it was 9:30, but it’s all the same to me lately because I’d been in bed for at least an hour) : Would you rub my back pleeeeeeze

Hubby: Would you rub my back?

Mama: How am I going to rub your back while you are rubbing my back?

Hubby: I meant after.

Mama: The point is that you rub my back until I fall asleep since you just woke me up.

Hubby: Maybe we could just face each other and reach around.

Mama: If I do that you are going to try to jump my bones.

Hubby: That’s disgusting. I would probably try to have sex with you.

Mama: Nevermind. You clearly aren’t getting the point of this.