This is Barbaric, People

If you had asked the 8 year old me what my favorite show was, I probably would have told you that it was American Gladiators, (or ChiPS, but that was just a phase.)

So…you know I was psyched when I heard that NBC was bringing back the gladiator glory this week. Then I realized that it was nostalgia, not love, that was getting me. Those t.v. hawkers even brought back Hulk Hogan to host the show. I’m surprised they don’t fight in Castle Grayskull and have a names like Cheetara and Cobra.

After all, the adult me understands that all that spandex is designed to objectify the gladiators and that adults beating each other up for money and glory is a reflection on a society in decay.

Still, I had to watch it- just to confirm that I am as rational and mature as I think I am.

It turns out that I am still 8 years old and I cannot get enough of this stuff. Shame on me. Please don’t tell my old college professor Dr. Stratton, who wrote a virtual treatise on how spectator sports were the true cause of the fall of the Roman Empire and believed we were following their footsteps – and that was before the XFL. The man is probably stocking his underground shelter as I write.

I can’t help it. I love it. I hope it outlives Survivor.